Tickets! Come get your tickets to the Magic Show!

After a few weeks of doing a whole lot of nothing, it seems my work is finally beginning. Now that the holidays have passed, organizations are finally starting to get going again and school has also begun here in Macuse. It felt good to actually have a schedule of activities and meetings to attend last week.

On Tuesday I met with some people at the health post, my counterpart, and the FGH doctor. We discussed a few project ideas, including a bike ambulance project. Wednesday I was able to stop up at the primary school at just the right moment to awkwardly walk in on the entire staff having their meeting. Lucky for me, I was invited to pull up a chair and sit at the head of the circle and be starred at by 20-or-so sets of eyes. I introduced myself and explained to them that I would like to work together on whatever projects or areas they need assistance in…after a few minutes of confused, blank stares, I arranged a one-on-one meeting with the director for a later date and let them get back to their staff meeting. The events of Thursday deserve their own paragraph, so let me just skip to Friday, I sat in on a TCE (Total Control of the Epidemic) meeting with about 40 field officers and again introduced myself to the sea of blank, confused stares. I’m not sure if I just need to talk slower, give a more detailed explanation, or if the blank, confused stares will always be pointed in my direction simply because I am this white foreigner female living in a rural African village, and this, to many people I feel, is incomprehensible.

The events of Thursday were much like that of a grand circus performance, or perhaps a magic show would be a better analogy…it certainly was unlike anything I’ve seen or been a part of thus far during my stay in Macuse. Perhaps I shouldn’t even be writing this, or maybe I’ll be asked to take this post down by Peace Corps or FGH eventually, but for now I’d like to share my thoughts and point of view and in no way am writing these things in a vicious or cruel manner because I imagine I was myself much like these women I am about to describe just a year ago on my trip to Uganda. So, some “high-ups” from the US that fund my organization (and shall remain nameless, although I realize it would not be hard to research the information if one feels so compelled) came to visit this far-away African land to see how their money is being spent and where improvements can be made. In an effort to impress these women, FGH sprang into action, recruiting the theatre group from a town away, having the Mobile Clinic pay a visit, and obtaining a guest speaker to do a presentation on breast cancer, all squeezed in to one afternoon presentation at the health post in my village while these ladies stopped in to observe the work being done. I imagine this was largely the reason why I was invited to be involved for the first time in the month I’ve been here, normally, I just randomly see an FGH vehicle pass through my town and no one has informed me that they will be here doing work or bother to invite me to tag along to try and learn about what they do. So on this occasion, I was there to witness it all, the play centered around condom use, the speech was on how to do a self-breast exam, and many people were waiting to be tested for HIV in the Mobile Clinic. As the women pulled up in their nice air-conditioned car, they filed out, all wearing similar khaki pants and white t-shirts to fight the heat, and were welcomed by 40 or so activists singing Mozambican songs of appreciation and gratitude. It reminded me of my trip to Uganda, such a tainted view, everyone puts on a performance everywhere you go and jumps to work in an effort to impress the donors. It’s not a true sense of daily life and activity. I think a surprise visit would be far more telling, but planning a surprise trip to Africa has its complications-it’s not really a place you can just show up to, unannounced and unnoticed. The women, with the help of a translator, introduced themselves and asked a few questions, the answers I heard given didn’t exactly coordinate with reality I didn’t think, but I kept my mouth shut-I’m just a Volunteer after all… “Oh, there were far more people here this morning, but a lot of them left already because of the rain.” “We have events like this a few times a month.” “There are field officers that go out and cover 50 different villages doing home visits.” These tidbits of information seemed to impress the ladies and evoke an “Obrigada” and “Muito prazer” out of them-the few words of Portuguese they perhaps learned for their big adventure. And with that, they were gone, headed back to their air-conditioned hotel with running water and satellite television, I imagine.

I just don’t think there’s any way a person can understand it unless they’ve lived here for an extended period of time-and I am in no way claiming to be an expert having been here a mere 4 months, but there’s definitely realizations that I’ve made from my time here-one being how ridiculous and incorrect my vision of Africa was after a short 2 week trip to Uganda one year ago. I stayed in a comfy hotel with running water, did a home-stay with a well-off family that lived in a 2 story home with running water and owned a car, and topped it off with a safari and boat ride down the Nile, how pleasant. The Africa I’m seeing and living in now is much, much different-for better or for worse. Donors I think are typically all about numbers, they want statistical data to prove their money is making a difference-but Africa doesn’t work that way. There’s too many beliefs and traditions, lack of education, and poverty to just throw our Western ideals on them and expect them to immediately adopt our theories and proven medicine, etc. It’s complicated…and like I’ve said, perhaps this will only make sense to those who have been in Africa, working, living, not just visiting.

I hope I haven’t sounded too dark and depressing in this post. I definitely think FGH needs to be here in Mozambique and they are improving many lives, there is just a different pace to life here and it can’t be understood or accepted by most do-gooders in America that are results-driven, so perhaps the magic show is necessary to keep foreign aid from vanishing from Mozambique all together…



It’s my birthday this weekend! I’ll be in Quelimane visiting some other Volunteers and co-workers! It will be nice to leave site and see some of the Moz 13 Volunteers that are back from Christmas break now too! I stayed at site last weekend and actually hung out with some Brazilian volunteers that are working at the school here and on Sunday I biked to the ocean! It was about an hour each way, a little draining in the heat, but well worth it! Very beautiful and peaceful, and the children that ran after me, yelling “olá!” as I biked away reminded me why I’m here. See their picture below! :) Tchau.

What happens when your mosquito net keeps things IN rather than OUT!!

I think all Peace Corps Volunteers wait for some pivital moment, a funny story, an embaressing moment, a confusion between cultures, something to take home with us and recite to friends and family to bring to life the adventures of living in a foreign country for two years. Well, the other night that story unfolded for me.

I was warned that I had a rat problem in my house and was a bit nervous since I hadnt been quite as lucky as others and experienced them during training, so this would be my first encounter with them, and Id be all alone! My interactions with the rats began slowly and non offensively. First, the rat poop appeared, signaling their arrival. Then they began appearing as I was drifting off to sleep, little glowing eyes in the corners of my bedroom. One night, one decided to try and join me as a dinner guest and came scampering through my kitchen. When I had another Volunteer stay over we woke up the next day to find her tooth brush missing, I found it a few days later on the floor behind a crate in my room, which is where the rats must have decided to leave it. Well, as of a few nights ago, the rats and I have reached a whole new level of intimacy....
A mosquito net is not only great for preventing malaria, Ive always viewed it as a total bug control device. I rely on it to protect me from any and all mosquitoes, cockroaches, spiders, rats, etc. Every night I make sure it is fully tucked in under my mattress and no corner is left untucked or loose. The one fear Ive had since arriving at my house is that a rat may get under the net and on my bed. I have two mattresses stacked on top of each other and the bottom one is a bit bigger than the top, so there is sort of a little shelf like area that sticks out between the two. Ive always worried that if a rat got under my net and on to the bed, that is where it would hide. During the day I usually make my bed but leave the mosquito net on one side untucked where I get in and out. Foolish, foolish me!
The other night I went around and made sure the net was tucked in well in all the spots other than where I enter, centered the top mattress a bit better, turned my fan on and positioned it just right, turned out my light, and used my cell phone as a flashlight to hop in to bed and under my net where I could be protected from the rats that I feel are sure to appear as soon as the lights are out. Once under the net, I tucked in the open end where I entered and as I went to the other side just to double check and tuck in even better, I put my hand down on a RAT that was resting right on that little shelf part I had feared so much! At this point I had secured the net so well under the mattress that even my flailing arms ripping at the net in an urgent attempt to get out and as far from whatever hairy, moving creature I had just touched, wasnt enough to set me free. After the first panicked attempt, I calmed myself slightly and ripped the net up from under the mattress. I jumped out of bed and turned on the light to see a rat running about my bed trapped under the net. As my heart was racing and sweat dripping from my moment of panick, I couldnt help but laugh out loud to myself standing there in my room with a rat in my bed. Eventually the rat found its way out and ran as fast as his little legs could carry himself out of my room. That night and last night, and Im sure every night from now on, Ive done about 7 or 8 checks around every inch and corner of the bed before turning out the lights and getting in to make sure it is rat free!
At least now I feel after that moment of intimacy I am fearless of the creatures. I always thought it was funny when Mozambicans bring up rats, they are always sure to note that they cant kill you! My host family would say ''Oh, we dont have rats in our house, but you know, they cant kill you.'' or ''oh, the province youre going to has a real rat problem, but dont worry, they cant kill you.'' I never found much comfort in that, but now I suppose I am greatful for at least that!

Mr. Kennedy said it would be difficult..he wasn't kidding.

The first few weeks at site were extremely diffrent from training! When I was in college I used to talk with a professor of mine about the Peace Corps, he is a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer and was always willing to take the time to answer my questions. When discssing if the Peace Corps was right for me, he would always ask, "Are you ok with being alone a lot? Going long periods of time with no one to talk to and feeling very secluded?" I never really understood exactly what he was talking about until my first week at site! I finally get it now! Those were pretty legitimate questions...It's a strange feeling, it's like I've never felt so alone and yet can never really be alone at my site all at the same time. I have no other Americans at my site, no family or friends to talk to, no on near by that really understands what Im going through and how much I've given up to be here, yet hardly a moment goes by that some neighbor or kid or shop owner doesn't come wandering over to borrow scissors or shampoo, drop off a plate of rice or fruit, get me water, or just stop by to chat. It gets VERY hot in my village, so whenever I'm at home I leave both my doors open to let the breeze in. There is a shop behind my house where people are always coming and going from with a perfect view in to my house, and then in the front of te house on the other side of the road is a bar with loud music always on and also the house where my maid lives so her children are always stopping over to chat, get water, borrow my things, or bringing me fruit. I feel SO alone but with no privacy, it's a srange thing!

We were delivered to site at a rather difficult time. My first week at site was right before Christmas and most businesses and organizations had closed for the holidays, the majority of Volunteers from last years group went home to visit family, and it was my first year away from home. It was definitly a challenge to say the least! I attempted to go out and meet the people at the Police Station, Hospital and other officials in town, but many had left already for holiday. The town is a lot smaller than I had expected but I am beginning to like it more now.

My first week at site I seriously considered ET-ing (Early Terminate) because it was such a shock being thrown in to such a small town with nothing to do, everything closed and people gone on vacation, nothing but potatoes, onions, and rice in the market, being homesick, dealing with 105 degree heat all day, no running water or fridge for a cold drink, flies and mosquito bites along with rashes from the water...the list goes on and on. I think the biggest thing is that I always pictured my time in the Peace Corps as a constant adventure filled with traveling and non-stop exploring and entertainment, but really I've found A LOT of time is spent learning the art of doing nothing at all. Just sitting, starring at the wall, waiting for something or someone that will never show up or happen, akwardly standing in neighbors yards with nothing to say to each other...activities such as these. I'm thankful I didn't leave because instead I forced myself to do some more exploring and have found some beautiful spots in my village. On the other side of the salt fields next to my house is a river with a gorgeous view of the sunset, and about a 20 minute walk away I did some exploring and snooped around the ADPP school and found some amazing views of the river there. It is right where the river flows in to the Ocean so it is salt water and I actually went on a canoe ride out in the water with my friend when she was visiting and we saw dolphins! I totally hadn't expected that! I was also able to go out to a little village right on the ocean about 10-15 minutes away (an hour by bike) to talk with a group of men starting a fishing business. It was so beautiful and the people living there were very friendly. I'm planning on doing some sort of activity or group with the children there and also going to try to get HIVtesting sites out there a few times a month since they don't currently have anywhere to get tested in town. I walked around on the shore and it is just endless miles of untouched shorline-it's so crazy, not a single house, hotel, restaurant, condo, nothing! It's sad though to think that the land probably will be developed in the next few years and it will most likely be by South Afican or Asian companies rather than Mozambicans.

The day after Christmas I went out to Macuba to visit another volunteer there. Five of us stayed with a girl living there, it was helpful to get away from site and have other volunteers to talk to about everything. This site is much bigger than mine and it was great to be able to buy a few things and even get ice cream! After a couple nights there another volunteer and I headed back to my site. Traveling to and from my site is an adventure I can not fairly describe in words... My town is so small that there aren't many vehicles coming and going from there, so the few trucks and semi's that are get pretty cramped to say the least. Amanda and I waited in the bac of a truck with about 30 other Mozambicans, 4 chickens, crying babies, random people in the street walking up trying to sell us shoes, peanuts and phone chargers, more and more people trying to cram in, it was about 100 degrees out-this went on for a good hour or so before we pulled out of town and got going! Then there's usually multiple stops along the way to let peopl in or out, fix flat tires, buy fruit from street sellers, etc. A trip that should take only an hour usually takes closer to 3! It's a painful process! It was really nice having Amanda come visit me though, we were able to cook spaghetti and watch movies on my laptop-and of course go on the canoe ride and see dolphins! After a couple nights at my site, and Amanda losing her toothbrush to the rats in my house, we left for Quelimane to meet up with the rest of the Moz 14ers that are in Zambezia. There's about 13 of us that met up and got a hotel to stay in over New Years. It was a lot of fun to see people I haven't seen in so long. We went to Zalala beach on New Years Eve for the day and laid out, did some swimming in the Ocean, and then had a restaurant cook us some huge fish. It was a great day! I'm still in Quelimane now an a little sad to be going back to site tomorrow, but I'm hoping now that the holiday's are over people will be back to work and there will be more for me to do.

I've talked to a lot of the volunteers that have been here for a year already and they've been helpful in making me realize that there will always be tough times and days when you just want to go home, but it gets easier and I just need to find a routine. I don't think it's necessarily getting easier just yet, I think I'm just beginning to accept the fact that this isn't always going to be a fun, crazy adventure full of traveling, I'm realizing there will be many times when I want to be done with all this and go home, because I'm homesick, bored, sick of the heat and the food and being culturally sensitive, being worried my things are going to be stollen, irritated that I don't get cell phone service in my house, or a variety of other things that make life here extremely difficult, but no one said it would be easy and I will appreciate the luxuries of home that much more in two years when I get back! Going out in to my community is usually helpful in curing my "poor me" attitude. I feel a bit ridiculous for feeling sorry for myself when I look around and see how difficult so many others have it! It seems so unfair that I for some reason was born in America and get to return in 2 years and the children in my village will likely spend their whole lives there. It really is a privelage for me to be here and I try to keep reminding myself it will get easier, I will be better, stronger person when I get back, I am accomplishing a huge life goal, and it's not like there's a job waiting back home for me! I am going to set up my house and decorate so it feels more home-y and start looking forward for family and friends that are coming to visit.

ok..this is getting lengthy and I feel it's a bit jumbled. Stay tuned, more to come!